Flashback

Life is full of curve balls, strikes and foul balls, I would sure like a home run. I have no idea where God is taking me, or how long it will take. This is the story so far…

I graduated, in 2004, I moved the next week to St George Utah, with a couple scholarships to Dixie State and a job waiting for me, I was on my way! Life was fun, I had good friends, including my best friend BreAnne Trappett, whom I left to move back up north to SLC. I was in St Geroge for 3 years, and suddenly felt I needed to move. It was divine intervention, it was the perfect time for me to leave.

Tara, Kandace, Melissa, Me

In 2007 I was transferred from St George to Centerville Utah as a manager at Target, where I moved in with brand new room mates Tara Brown, Kandace Pack-Hatch, Jessie Stanfield-Cornelious, and Melissa Maloy. I will always remember these girls, my best friends. They have changed me for the better, and I keep a piece of them with me forever.

My close friends all got married or moved away, and I moved to start fresh with some girls in West Jordan, close to the community college, where I had started back at school, full time for Nursing. I quit Target, and felt a strong urge to go back to school. I got hired at a hospital in downtown SLC at LDS Hospital in the Operating Room. I love working here, and I am anxious to finish school. I then, received another strong urge to leave where I was in West Jordan to live with Melissa Maloy and her family.

One day at church, in Jan, I was prompted to receive a blessing. I had plans to see Melissa that night for a fireside, so after the fireside, I asked her father for a blessing. I understand the term “Overcome by the spirit”, because I felt it so strongly. It was close to the feelings of when I received my Patriarchal blessing. I was told, and knew that I was to move in with the Maloy family. The blessing was very powerful, overwhelmingly true to what I needed to hear, most things I knew, or should have known, but needed to be reminded. Many personal things were said, but one thing stood out, that I needed to move in with ‘people who loved and cared for me’. I was told I have many options, but I knew what I was supposed to do, and so did the Maloy’s. I hadn’t felt the spirit so strongly, to make such a specific decision, and so abruptly. I was moved out two weeks later. Many little miracles happened, which enabled me to move my things, and leave my lease without any complications or money problems with the current room mates.

Me and Melissa Maloy

I am learning the true example of charity while living here with the Maloy’s. Paul and Ann are phenomenal people, and their family has already taught me so much. I am deeply grateful for their love and care for me, adopting me as their own. I sleep on a bunk bed, with 3 girls all in one tight room. I do chores around the house to help keep my stay, doing dishes, trash or vacuum. Its amazing, the difference between living on my own, trying to balance work, church, school and family from last semester to this semester. Last semester I spent many nights crying or overwhelmed with how to pay for rent, tuition or groceries. I felt like a candle in a hurricane, trying simply to stay alive and felt so alone. Church was a task, I didn’t feel welcome, school was demanding and seemed impossible, and I felt like a disappointment to work and to my family, I was only half-there, all the time. Multitasking is the inability to complete any one task. That’s how I felt, trying to do so much, while leaving everything in pieces. I failed school, finally received my student loans, and burnt myself out. I had no time for anyone, including myself, or the Lord.

However, now, while living with the Maloy’s, I have taken on extra responsibilites, I’m taking institute, full time school, 30 hours of work, and an amazing boy friend, I seem to have plenty of time. I am still very stressed with school, and I’m concerned with my future with how long I will live with the Maloys, or what I should do with my life, but I can testify, putting the Lord first, and asking Him for help, rather than doing it on my own, has opened up my possibilities. I am becoming who I am, and want to be, rather than struggling simply to get by. I am progressing and changing for the better. I hated that small slight slump in my progress. A plateau. I was still so much stronger than when I left St George, but I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who blesses and guides me, even to the exact day of when and where I should be and provides a way for me to get there.

I am so thankful for my testimony of this gospel, I love who I am in it, and who God is molding me to become. I feel myself growing. I am truly humbled. My whole life, I have felt on my own. I love my family so much, I know they do their best. I was raised to do things on my own, I didn’t want to bother anyone with my little problems. Everyone else needs more help that I do. Heavenly Father has so much planned for me, I have faith that these opportunities for growth are preparing me for something so much greater than I can comprehend. I hope to learn my lesson quick, and hit my next home run! Whether it is getting married, finishing school or whatever the next chapter is that lies ahead. I have so much faith in Christ. I am truly humbled and even though I hate to ask for help, I realize if I don’t ask, he will bring me to my knees until I ask. He knows I am stubborn and quick to forget that I need him. I am eternally grateful for someone who guides my life, I will never forget to stop and listen.